Long and controversial post about Sunday School yesterday

I haven't been to Sunday School for a looong time, mostly because our church does not have a nursery or classes for children under the age of three.

Well yesterday I finally made an appearance, and went to a parenting class, taught by a woman in my church who has five children and the oldest is in high school. She is using materials called "Effective Parenting in a Defective World."

Yesterday's session was "Punishment versus Discipline."

First an overview of the lesson and video, from the notes:

Punishment is about inflicting penalty for an offense; it's focus is past misdeeds; the attitude of the parent is hostility and frustration; and it results in fear and guilt

Discipline is about training for correction and maturity; the focus is future correct acts; the attitude of the parent is love and concern; and it results and security

He said there is no reason to ever punish because Jesus already past for all our offenses. No punishment is needed.

He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently - Proverbs 13:24

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him - Proverbs 22:15

He said that spanking is "so strongly taught in scripture" and is "God's answer to eliminate a lot of your stress and frustration." The problem is not spanking itself, but the way it's implemented. It should be done with a wooden spoon, so they don't associate pain with your hand. You should "flick your wrist" when you do it, and it should "sting and hurt a lot, but produce absolutely no damage." Then you should pray together and prompt your child to ask God for forgiveness, where he is restored to God, and then you can have a loving time together, child and parent.

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Now, here are some of my thoughts. Keep in mind they are just thoughts, I'm not an authority, and my kids are still young. I understand that I may be off-base, and I also may change my mind in a few years. But this is what went through my mind during the class.

Please feel free to add your thoughts to the mix:

- Isn't it a rather large leap to say that "the rod of discpline" means spanking? Are we to believe that God thinks spanking is a requirement for discipline? How can spanking (or any single act) be the only way to teach or disciple someone?

- I have never understood the idea about using a tool to whack your kid, as opposed to your hand, because the hand should always be loving. What kid is so dumb to not realize that it's the parent's hand who is making the paddle/spoon/whatever whack them?

- It felt really really weird to be sitting in church among people I know and be given instructions for exactly how to go about whacking our kids.

- The point was made that discipline was about teaching and training. How does someone learn by being hit? The example made in his talk was about a child going to a neighbor's house when you told him never to go in that particular person's house. It seems like there would be a whole host of things you could instruct your child about -- ways to decline an invitation, how some people or situations are not safe, what to do if you sense a threat, etc etc. Yet his idea of "training" in this situation is to take the child into the bedroom and hit him.

- Similarly, he used the phrase of "being restored to God." I don't understand this theology at all; how is a person "restored to God" by being hit by another person? If he is talking about the prayer afterwards, okay, but how does the spanking fit in with that? The implication seems to be that you can't talk to God, or won't be forgiven, unless a third party has deliberately inflicted pain on you first. How is that Biblical? And how is that not a punishment?

- The point was also made that punishment is about anger and vengeance, and discipline is about love. I would agree that spanking when you're angry should not be recommended ... but does anyone else think it seems totally creepy to smack your own child when you're perfectly calm and happy? Hitting them when you're mad at least makes sense.

Anyone care to jump in?

Poems about angels and God

Rachael writes so much stuff I can barely keep up with it all ...



The girls had a combined birthday party Saturday (hopefully I'll blog more about that later) and Rachael got a Princess notepad. She assigned all of us an "angel" of sorts, and wrote a "poem" about us on each sheet of the notepad.



Here's the one for me, the Rose Angel:
HIY I AM THE ROS ANGEL I GROW SES IN GRDINS TOO GROW IN LITTL ROS BOSHIS AND I WAR ROSIS ON MY ERS AND HAR



[Hi I am the Rose Angel I grow seeds in gardens to grow in little rose bushes and I wear roses on my ears and hair.]



Benjamin got to be Jesus:
HIY I AM JESUS I AM CINDUV LIC GOD BUT I AM PEPL SIS I AM A BOY JEST LIK GOD I MAC MERUKLS JEST LIK GOD



[Hi I am Jesus I am kind of like God but I am people-size. I am a boy just like God. I make miracles just like God.]

Rachael was the "Water Angel," but I can't find that one right now ...

Rebecca got to be the Berry Angel:
I AM THE BARE ANGEL AND I GIV BARES TO THE BRS WEN I DOOW THIS JOB IT MAKS ME FEL HAPPY BARE ANGEL POWEM

[I am the Berry Angel and I give berries to the birds. When I do this job it makes me feel happy. - Berry Angel Poem]

The Kindergarten Test

I always find something interesting when I tidy up our playroom.

Just now I found this. (The italics are mine):

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KINDUGRDIN TEST


DOW ESTR BUNES HID THE EGGS OR FIND THE EGGS
(Do Easter Bunnies hide the eggs or find the eggs?)

A. FIND THE EGGS
B. HID THE EGGS

IS HORTON A ELUFINT OR A DER
(Is Horton an elephant or a deer?)

A. A DER
B. A ELUFINT

WUT DOW FIR MEN DOW
(What do firemen do?)

A. POT OWT FIRS (put out fires)
B. BAC BRED (bake bread)
C. DOW THE LONDRE (do the laundry)

RUMEMR THE STORE DID JACK AND JILL CLIM UP THE HILL
(Remember the story - did Jack and Jill climb up the hill?)

A. YES
B. NO
C. YOU DONT NOW

The correct answers were marked. I could picture Rachael making the test and giving it to Rebecca, although I don't know that for certain.

A few things I noticed:

- Rachael's printing has word spacing now, which she didn't a few months ago
- That's a lot of writing for a six year old
- There were question marks in-between the questions. I'm not sure if they were decorations, or is she doesn't know exactly how a question mark is used
- I just thought the whole thing was pretty clever! :)

Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

Here's an example of what homeschooing looks like in our house. Keep in mind that this is just one sliver of what we do:

I felt like we had exhausted the Berenstain Bears, Junie B Jones, Amanda Pig, PD Eastman, Amelia Bedelia, and so on, and posted on a homeschool group to get new ideas for what to read to the girls.

Among other things (like Charlotte's Web and Ramona the Pest), someone suggested Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume. Well, that made me pretty excited, because I loved that book and truly would not be the writer I am today if not for Ms. Blume.

So ... I got it at the library and we read it, and the girls, especially Rachael loved it.

And I was asked to read another chapter again .... and another chapter again .... and I felt like I could only do so much ...

So I went back to the library and got the audio cassette of Judy Blume reading it. I've never been into audio books much myself because I'm one of those people who can't grasp it too well if I'm not looking right at the words. But the girls have been listening to it again and again. Rachael even took it outside on the back porch this afternoon.

Then I did some searches on the web for TOAFGN activities. Most of them are, uh, not my style (like lists of vocabulary words to define, or "cause and effect charts").

But, I found some info about what gave Judy Blume the idea, and how the original manuscript was different, and why it was rejected, and I read that to the girls.

I also showed Rachael some fourth grade school assignments where the kids had to draw photos of the different characters and write a poem about them. She liked looking at them. I could picture her maybe possibly doing something like that herself. Will it upset me if she doesn't? No.

Then I found out that in the 90's there was a Saturday day morning kids' show called "Fudge" (with Eve Plumb AKA Jan Brady as the mom). I somehow found a couple episodes on the Internet, so last night the girls watched them at the kitchen table while I cleaned up and got the dinner ready. They liked it, but I didn't get the impression they wanted to watch any more of it. If they do, that's fine too.

Oh yeah, and I also got SuperFudge out of the library. We read the first couple chapters together, but it didn't grab me as much, and then I forgot about it, and no one has asked for it ... Rebecca was disappointed (as was I) that there was no pictures in that one.

So ... that's sort of how we do things around here. One thing that's neat is that I had no idea we would be doing something with Judy Blume just two weeks ago. I also don't know if we will be doing anything more with Judy Blume in two more weeks.

It's always an adventure around here.

Rachy goes to school!

A few weeks ago Rachael told me she "wanted to try school to see if it was fun."

The staff at our church's school was kind enough to let her come in for one day -- today! Her she is this morning, with her reading book and her lunch!

She said it was fun. She said some parts were boring ... like Spanish, because they sang songs she didn't know in Spanish. And she said that in PE they did tests, like how many sit-ups you can do, that kind of thing. But they also did a game called, "What time is it, Fox?" and she liked that.

It sounds like the kids were very nice and helpful and friendly to her. Robert dropped her off in the morning, and he said it was kind of like she was a celebrity. A lot of kids knew her from Sunday School, and were gathering around saying, "Rachael's here today?"

What cracked me up was at the end of the day when we were walking out to the car. Rachael said to me, "I can't believe people do that every day!"

Then later, she said, "School is long!"

I said to the girls, I think Rebecca feels the same way you probably do, Rach ... I think she liked having you gone, but she's glad it was just for one day."

Rebecca nodded and said, "Yes."

Me and my girls

Well, sad to say, but true .... I haven't seen many good pictures of myself (or even good mirror reflections) in, um ... well, about the last two and a half years. So I figured that, since these look pretty decent, I should certainly post them.



Here's me and Rachy. The other day someone said she was a "Mini-Me."



And here's me with my Rebecca. She is NOT a Mini-Me.
We've always kind of felt like she must have dropped out of the sky, both in her looks and personality!

Rebecca, our Wild Child

These pictures that Rachael took of Rebecca were so, um ... interesting, that I decided they needed a post of their own.

Yeah, I know this picture is fuzzy, but I still liked it.

This one is my favorite. You go, girl!

And she took this picture herself!